Good Riddance To Thinking

I tend to say, “I think,” a lot. Even when I’m not merely thinking about it, but affirmingly know it, I still say, “I think.” I hadn’t noticed this about my communication until recently, when I read aloud to my friend a text I was about to send to an acquaintance. He mentioned that he would take out those two words because it wasn’t a question or a possibility, but fact. It suddenly dawned on me, and I felt one more piece of the figurative puzzle slowly click into place.

I have been prefacing or suffixing these two words for many expressed thoughts. Recent dialogues slowly started replaying in my head as I stood there staring at my friend. He was right. Why do I do that?

When I say, “I think,” it sounds like it maybe didn’t happen or it may not be true. That’s what he said. “I don’t think I want to go to the event,” immediately opens the door for others to try to convince me to go. “It’s cold outside I think,” signals to my kids to refuse their jacket that day. I compared these sentences with the affirmative, “I don’t want to go to the event,” or, “It’s cold outside.” Absolute thoughts, no room for further question.

I realize the words, “I think,” is a silent permission handed over to those who are looking to sway minds and decisions. I immediately started analyzing the humans in my life, assessing how they speak, and what their image in society is. The ones who speak boldly are untouchable. No one dares tries to change their mind or change their opinion.

I have no idea when I started cushioning my conversations with so many softening phrases. Could it be my science background where it is insightful to be accepting of other views. Or is it another way I was slowly shrinking in the world, unsure of my thoughts, fearful of what others may say, and giving away control to my direction in life?

I’m now determined to change the way I speak and write, especially in certain contexts which don’t require an open mind or invites for contemplation. I’m letting go of the “I think,” the maybe, the perhaps — and stepping into certainty.

The absolutes is what will allow me to be myself, and others can agree or disagree.